Tuesday nights: Rebecca and I, cuddling.

I am really surprised by yesterday morning, and how bad it was. Who wouldve thought singing and dancing could lead to a mans rage?

Rebecca without her braces is stunning. Rebecca without her braces biting me, hurt.

It's been a while. I wonder why.
I'm trying to focus on growth of myself, which is quite hard to do when you're also focusing on shrinking. I'm too big for this.
I've been screaming rap lyrics to potential men and shattering my arms against pseudo-pianos, wishing i could be something. Wishing i could show something. "I swear it's just nerves." It seems lately I've been stuck. Maybe i need to "grow".


I was playing kiss or kill, and i said oberon. They said "who? kill."
I don't think it's possible to kill the king.
Maybe they didn't get the memo.

PETSMART:

Grrr.
Apparently they have no shifts open on evening schedule, so they guy pretty much let me down. He said I pretty much had the job, and then he called today and said that he was wrong.

Grrrrrrrrr.
Oh well. A lot of places are hiring right now though. Joanns, restaurants, blah. I'm just mildly disappointed.

Today, was interesting.

Woke up, got dressed.
Stopped at sonic for a breakfast burrito, no mean.
Got a mango italian soda at a coffee shop, where there is a really good looking guy.
Went to help my grandmother out.
Went to go get shots with my mum.
Went to a used book store, and I found the third volume of Sandman, and another volume. (score!)
Went to eat at my favorite restaurant (Pigged out) and ate egg salad sandwhichs on dark rye, and strawberries and bananas, and Peach mango tea.
Went by pet smart to check up on my application.
ANDDDDDDDDDD.
He started talking to me, and they need people bad and I pretty much got the job. He's going to call me tomorrow to make it official.
I'm happy that this happened. I really am.

Lately I've been staying up late and dying for no apparent reason. I've been having queer and brummagem dreams.

I really want the Books Of Blood, By Clive Barker.
I'm going to stop by the used book store to get it.
Honestly, as far as modern authors go, Barker is not only intelligent, but he's ingenius. His ideas are novel compared t his peers, and even the great Stephen King has said that Barker "makes the rest of us look like we have been asleep for ten years."
His work delves into the realms of Horror, dealing with subjects like sadomasochism, catholicism, psychopathia, and revenge. He has ghosts, demons, creatures, serial killers, and more twists than one of my favorite film makers, Midnight Shyamalan. His films, and art are inspiring as well. It is a sad disappointment that this man is 55 years old and homosexual, because I would gladly throw myself at him, just by his sheer genius.

Also, Sandman is addicting. It really is "comics for intellectuals."
I'm probably the only person at my school who is into graphic novels. (And I mean real ones, not manga.) I honestly think I won t lend my Sandman out though, to anyone. I like keeping things that mean a lot to me, and frankly, these have been a great source of inspiration.
I've always been a fan of Neil Gaiman, from his fantasy books, like Coraline and Stardust, to his graphic novels, to his films. His character development alone is enough for anyone to admire the man.


I have to re-read a couple okay books for my English 4 AP class. I'm really glad that it's just a journal, and not some lengthy "find all of the ostentatious words and every simile and then hang yourself from your ceiling lamp."

As of music, well, my own has come along greatly. I have always had a knack for lyrics, because I've always been a poet. Now, the piano, on the other hand, is a hard beast to tame. I'm not for taming it to be quite frank, but I'm sure it's an amiable friend. We have tea every morning, and dinner every night. Now, speaking of instruments as friends, I'm about to rekindle a friendship with something that has haunted me for years after I have parted ways. My violin. Honestly, to think f the violin as a friend, for me, is a lie. More like an ex-lover. I'm really thinking about picking it, Him, up again, and seeing how this all fits within my creative plane.

As for other peoples music, I have lightly embraces good hearted music like the pixie-queen, Bjork, and the Art-Rock intellectuals, Talking Heads. They are slightly inspirational, but I am looking from afar, as to not latch onto their being and be a carbon copy.

I need to find inspiring people. A motley of beings who will bring me dreams.

Do you guise like it?

http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Kevin_and_Kat

Look at that trainwreck.

My mother is disappointed that I quit my job, but I don't think it will be that hard for me to find one quick.

I'm going to focus on my art and music, and maybe sell some art online.
My feet are cold. My thighs are cold. My lengths are cold.

I believe I need to get more applications today.

I just quit me job.
Fuck me.

Going out to dinner with Matt.
I have to wake him up.
Work was crazy.
Liars are crazy.
I don't know what to do with myself.
Well I guess I'll paint a smile on and pretend like nothing happened and forget about ghosts and goblins because good girls don't shiver.
I made a peanut butter and cheese sandwich at work and it reminded me of snow.

Death to curls.

Stolen from Squishy who stole it from someone else.

A) People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

B) Tag eight people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.


1. What are your reasons for having a LJ?
It is more intelligent than myspace, and gets me to interact with human beings who don't live near me, but share interests with me.

2. What do you do before bedtime?
Take off clothes
Brush teeth
Plug in ipod
Plug in phone
Read

3. What will your dream life be like?

I want to be a lead singer/pianist for an indie band and also go solo sometimes. We'll be totally rad and stuff. I want to live in a flat in a eccentric city (Seattle or Austin.) with hopefully my future boy friend, and we will own a dog. And I'll sell art, write poetry, and write reviews on the side. Oh, and Rebecca and I will still be in contact cause she'll play the marimba on some of my bands tracks.

4. What is the city of your dreams and why?
Um, Seattle, my home city. It's where all my memories are.

5. Are you an introvert or extrovert?
Introvert about some stuff.

6. Go into your text inbox, what's the most recent message and explain what it's about.

It's a message from Emanuel. =)

7. Favorite band/Artist and why?
Talking Heads, because they are very intellectual while being pop/rock. And Art Rock is boss. They make me smile.

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
I'd move on.

9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?

Um, my shyness when it comes to playing the piano. And my driving situation.

10. What is your best quality?
Um, I have heard it's my assertivness, my humor (I'm a funny bitch), my music taste, my talents, and idk what else.

11. If you could eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
SALAD.

12. Describe your perfect date?
Um, just a really fun time, not anything boring. I would like to go to an art museum or a local show with good music. Just something eccentric and not expensive.

13. Do you have any weird talents?
I can make strange noises? And I have a knack for prank calls.

14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
Squishy is awesome and loves tea almost as hard as I do.

15. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?

Um, how abut not married but with someone I love and well off?

16. Name a food that you absolutely hate.

Well, I'm a vegetarian but it'd be cliche to say all meat. I'd have to say ground beef though because it has a gross taste. Most red meats are disgusting to me.

17. What's better, to give or to receive?
Both.

18. What's your current Facebook/MySpace/whatever picture?



19. What was the last dream you had that you remember?
I was having rough sex. Not surprising.

20. What were your parents going to name you if you'd been born the opposite sex?
Austin. Lol.

"Kids in Congo were being sent down mines to die so that kids in Europe and America could kill imaginary aliens in their living rooms."

I went hiking again.
Here is the evidence.

( Then dive down there with the lights to lead that seem to shine from everything )

I have nothing to do today, now.
Rebecca is visiting with her brothers and sisters, so she had to back out.

I feel really cooped up.
I am going to look for someone to steal me.

Ijust woke up, and I have listened to: The cure, The beach boys, The beattles and Abba. I think my life is complete.
I need a shower.
I need rebecca to call me.
I need a puppy.
Puppies are sweet.

Why is it I buy a lot of clothes but I have nothing to wear right now?
Ew, I hate teenage moments like that.
I need to clean my room, if that redhead is going to bleed over in it.
lollolololololololol.
Lies.

I think I'm going to stop being so abusive to myself verbally.
Instead of "Stop saying stupid stuff." I'll say "You are beautiful."
Instead of "20 more pounds, fat ass." I'll say "You are fine the way you are, but if you want, lets go for a jog."

I think it is important for me.

So today was another beautiful, super slow day at work.
I decided to take pictures to tell a tale.

( down to a pool fraught with danger is a pool full of strangers. )

Working 2 PM to 9 PM.

I am equipped with a good book and an ipod...And my cell.
Nights are always slow.

I'm eating cantalope. This stuff is godly.

I have to feed the birds. I fixed my hair, because it was defying gravity and who wants that?
My week seems boring. I have plans wednesday with my mom.
Thursday: Rebecca? She hasn't confirmed.
Tomorrow...Work.
Friday...NOTHING.
Wow.
Friday.
Shouldn't.
Be.
Open.

Refreshing.
I need a shower.
I need to take action.